Which BADge do you deserve?

Prefers testing in production rather than shifting it left to the development phase, risking user-facing issues.

Artificially inflates or deflates development speed metrics to serve their narrative.

Writes complex, hard-to-understand code to make themselves indispensable to the project.

Spends more time in meetings than actual development, reducing productivity.

A sly Code Review Hater, simply forces a code push bypassing all governance and policy automation.

Writes code with complex and tangled control structures, making it difficult to maintain and understand.

Dismisses bugs because the code works on their local setup, ignoring potential environment-specific issues.

Prefers to take unexpected breaks during work-from-home, slowing down the team’s progress.

Avoids code reviews, leading to unchecked code getting merged into the main branch.

Creates bugs that are hard to reproduce, leading to wasted debugging efforts.

Resists updating old, inefficient code, slowing down technological progress.

Prefers doing everything manually via UI clicks, rather than automating it using IaC.

Doesn’t optimize cloud resources, leading to wasteful expenditures.

Changes infrastructure configuration directly through the web console, completely ignoring the IaC pipeline.

Designs systems heavily dependent on a single vendor’s technology, limiting flexibility and resilience.

Has a knack for unwittingly running "terraform destroy", erasing infrastructure components accidentally.

Selects the most expensive cloud services without optimizing for cost.

Staunchly advocates for traditional, non-cloud-based solutions, often hindering modernization efforts.

Forgets to shut down development instances leading to unnecessary cloud costs.

Always selects the most complex solution over simpler, equally effective alternatives.

Creates a system that is theoretically distributed but in practice behaves as a single monolithic application.

Designs systems that lack proper redundancy and failover mechanisms, leading to frequent downtimes.

Ignores or turns off important system alerts, often leading to overlooked critical issues.

Avoids being on-call for support.

Frequently causes unplanned downtime due to their reckless approach to maintenance.

Designs systems that resist scaling causing performance bottlenecks and service outages during high demand.

Known for pushing changes directly to production, skipping important testing and staging environments.

Makes a big deal out of minor issues. Loves crisis management.

Ensures their home IP is always whitelisted, causing potential security issues.

Uses this compliance certification as a shield to avoid implementing essential security practices.

Frequently leaves cloud storage buckets publicly accessible, risking sensitive data exposure.

Talks a lot about compliance but fails to implement compliant practices.

Always operates with the highest system permissions, disregarding the principle of least privilege.

Rejects the zero-trust security model, risking unauthorized access and data breaches.

Regularly uses root or administrator access, disregarding the best practice of only escalating when necessary.

Relies upon cloud-provided security features, overlooking potential security risks inherent in their code and architecture.

Openly communicates their own or others’ mistakes in a way that may harm morale or trust within the team, instead of constructively addressing and learning from these errors in a private and supportive manner.